I Was Blind and Now I See

And as Jesus passed by he saw a man which was blind from his birth


Jude sat in his usual place by the temple gate.  He had woken up just before the sun started to come up in order to navigate the crowded city streets.  As he felt the familiar stones which signified his spot he breathed a sigh of relief.  He recalled the time when he was 14 when he had taken the wrong side street.  By the time he realized his mistake the street was beginning to fill up with street vendors.  Nobody had time for a little blind boy.  His rabbi had finally found him in a little doorway 2 days later bruised and hungry and very lucky to be alive.  His Rabbi growing up had been a good man, but most in his profession were hypocrites and liars.  When he had been asked to join the Sanhedrin, Jude had stopped attending the synagogue.  His parents lived in the poor section of Jerusalem or the lower city as it was called.  While they loved him and did their best, they had not been able to afford to feed him since his father had injured his back.  So Jude did what any other blind man had to do... he begged in front of the temple.  


He instinctively knew the kinds of people passing by.  The food vendors with the varied aromas would pass him.  Sometimes if he was lucky they would give him some bread or during Passover, a little lamb.  The money changers came with their heavy tables and jingling coins.  They never spoke to him except to gruffly tell him to get out of their way so that they could get on with their important work of robbing the pious temple worshipers.  The Sadducees would walk past and from their opulent robes take a few coins and ceremoniously give them to the beggar.  The Pharisees would hurry past him in groups, their large phylacteries swinging from their chests.  Most often they would mutter something about his sins or his parent's sins.  The Roman soldiers ignored him knowing that he was too handicapped to carry their burdens.  The temple guards would ignore him unless he got too close to the gate and then would scold him and tell him that invalids were not allowed on temple grounds.  He knew all the types of people in Jerusalem.  He knew which ones would give him coins and which ones would give him a swift kick.  He was an expert at discerning people's intentions.


He stirred as he heard an unusual group approaching him.  It was highly unusual for there to be a crowd at all since today was the Sabbath.  It sounded almost like Gamaliel and his disciples the way the leader stopped every so often to turn around and speak.  But no, that wasn't Gamaliel's voice.  He started to get apprehensive.  Rabbis often used him as an object lesson in order to exhort their followers to avoid sin.  This sounded like a Rabbi.  Just as he started to push himself back into the doorway he felt something.  Something deep inside told him that this man, whoever he was, was his friend.  More than that, he felt that this man cared deeply about him.  He shook his head.  That was impossible.  He had never heard this man before and was sure he did not know him.  He quelled his irrational thoughts and started to retreat again, but he hesitated.  He didn't know why but he wanted this man to see him, to notice him.  He stepped from the shadows.


He felt the other's eyes rest on him.  He pulled nervously at his rags, suddenly aware that he was very much exposed.  He heard another man's voice ask "Master, who did sin this man or his parents that he was born blind."  Inwardly he groaned.  He had asked himself this question every day since he was old enough to realize he was different.  Why had God done this to him?  What did he do so horribly wrong in another life to warrant such cruel treatment?  Did God even still love him?  Why did he have to be so alone?  Nobody ever understood.  People, trying to be nice, would explain to him what things looked like.  They always tired of it when he would seek knowledge that they couldn't give him.  What did green look like?  What is grey?  Because of his infirmity he had never learned to read.  He was shunned from the synagogue.  He would never marry or have children. He would never...


His thoughts were interrupted by a deep voice coming from the one they called Master.  The voice was not overly loud although it was loud enough to reach the sizable crowd gathered around him.  What struck Jude was the power in the voice.  There was no hesitation, no stuttering or mumbling of words.  The voice carried authority.  The Man, whoever he was, knew exactly who he was and what he wanted to say.  And what's more, he knew that what he was saying was truth.  Jude had heard men lie and most men were hesitant when they spoke, but this Man spoke unlike any other man.  What's more is that while Jude listened, the voice pierced his soul.  He was listening with his ears but was hearing with his soul.  Jude was so startled by the voice that it took him a second to realize what the Man was saying.  "Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him."


As Jude understood what the Man was saying a faint glimmer of hope stirred in his chest.  When he was young he had prayed every day that God would heal him of his malady.  He went to synagogue and heard stories of Moses parting the Red Sea and Elijah calling fire from heaven.  Surely a God that could do that could heal a little blind boy.  When the answer to his prayer didn't come he turned to the story of Job.  Perhaps all he needed was a little patience like Job and everything would work out for the best.  After years of praying every day he started praying every other day, then every week and now he couldn't remember the last time he had prayed.  He recalled all of his frustration and his disappointment as he sought to squash the hope that was beginning to grow within him.  But despite his pessimism, the voice filled him with such warmth that he couldn't restrain the hope that was now filling him.  


Just as he was starting to trust in this hope the Man did something unexpected.  He spat on the ground.  Jude reeled back at this ultimate insult.  Once he had tried to beg from a passing dignitary and the soldiers spit at him as they pushed him away.  This Man was just like the other Rabbis.  To judge and condemn and then to mock was the "works of God" that were to be made manifest.  Then the man bent over his spit.  Jude could hear the sound of the dust being moved on the ground.  Then the man stepped toward Jude.  The blind man shrunk away from the perceived threat.  Then a sickly cold feeling of moisture and soil came over his eyes.  He grimaced as the Man rubbed the mud firmly into his eye sockets.  Revulsion spread over Jude as he realized that this mud was a combination of the Man's spit and the filthy Jerusalem street dust.  


And then the voice returned saying "Go wash in the pool of Siloam."  Jude stepped back into the darkness humiliated as the Man and His followers walked past Him.  He intended to wash alright, but not in the pool of Siloam.  He wasn't even sure where that was.  He knew that it was somewhere in the crowded lower city.  It would take him the rest of the day to even find the place and he would have to travel with this Man's saliva on his face the whole time.  The pool of Israel was very close to where he now was and he was positive he could find a cistern somewhere nearby as well.  As he moved to leave and go find a place to wash his humiliation away he heard an astonished passerby say "That's him, that's Jesus of Nazareth."


The sound of the Man's name shot through Jude's body as he realized who had touched him. He had heard of Jesus just like everyone in the city these days.  The prophet from Galilee had made enemies of the Sanhedrin and they had threatened excommunication for declaring him to be the Messiah.  This was all Jude knew about Him, but there were other rumors of incredible miracles.  Some said that He had healed lepers and raised a girl from the dead.  But Jude didn't believe in God.  God had abandoned him.  He felt his way down the street to the cistern and started to dip his hands in to wash his face.  He hesitated as the words of the Man came to his mind again.  That Voice had said "that the works of God might be made manifest in him."  Without realizing it Jude had turned toward the lower city and was starting to feel his way.


Jude felt the warmth of the sun starting to fade as he finally reached the edge of the pool.  He had walked all day and been run over by a cart.  He had become lost several times and wandered several places of the lower city that were so crowded and the streets so narrow that he felt like it was twilight because the buildings blocked out the sun.  He had been stopped by a group of Romans who had only let him go after they determined that he was blind and therefore useless to them.  He had the same experience with a group of thugs.  After shaking him down and taking his few coins they let him go.  Jude felt very lucky that this was all that had happened to him on his way.  He had wanted to turn back the whole time.  He had passed 4 more cisterns and had been sorely tempted to wash there and go home, but he had held onto the hope that wouldn't die within him.  Jesus of Nazareth had told him to wash in the pool of Siloam with the voice that had penetrated his soul.  As he walked, he debated until he had finally made a decision.  He was determined to wash at Siloam no matter what happened.  His hope for healing outweighed any difficulty that would come from obedience.


He bent down and touched the cool water.  Cupping his hands he put the water to his dusty face.  The mud had dried and crusted over his eyelids.  He repeatedly washed his face until he could open his eyes.  As the last of the mud was removed from his face he started to open his eyes.  The hope was like a fire within his chest and he stopped breathing as his eyelids cracked open.  He could feel the cool evening air touching his exposed eyes but the darkness that had been his constant companion his whole life was unchanged.  He closed his eyes and tears of disappointment started to run down his face.  The tears burned, but something else started to burn as well.  His eyelids went from black to a color that he had never seen before.  He opened his eyes again and then immediately closed them as light flooded into them and he winced with the pain.  The tears were flowing freely from his eyes as he opened them again.  For the first time in his life Jude could see.


He spent the rest of the night wandering the city taking in every sight.  He drank in his world like a man dying of thirst.  He went to his normal place by the temple gate and watched the people who walked passed trying to pair the sounds and smells with the new sights.  Several people came up to him and asked if he was the blind man who had been there before.  Every time someone asked him he told them the miraculous story.  He was surprised when a group of men he identified as temple guards approached him.  The leader asked him if he was the man born blind who used to beg here.  When Jude answered affirmatively, the soldiers demanded that he come with them.  


He was led to a large building.  He was then led into a large room where a large number of men were talking furiously among themselves.  When he entered the room went quiet.  A man in the center of the room approached him and said "Are you the man who used to bet at the temple gate?"  Jude answered "I am he."  
"Why did you act blind until today?" the man demanded.
"I didn't act blind.  I was blind until yesterday evening."
"Tell us then, how is it that you see today?" the man remarked with a sneer
"A man named Jesus put clay in my eyes and told me to go wash in the pool of Siloam.  I went and washed and now I can see."


At the mention of the name Jesus, the room started to buzz ominously with the men in the room whispering frantically to each other.  By the time Jude had finished his story the room had exploded in shouts.  Some were yelling that Jesus had broken the Sabbath and was a sinner.  Others were yelling that a man who was a sinner could not do such miracles.  Each side attempted to drown out the others until the man in the center raised his arms for silence.  The noise in the room died down and the man turned once again to Jude.
"What do you think of this man Jesus?" he asked.


As Jude pondered the question he realized that there was so much he could say.  The man had saved his life.  He had rekindled faith in a hopeless heart.  He had done what no ordinary man could do.
"He is a prophet." was the only acceptable answer.


The man in the center cried out "It is a trick.  This man is an imposter!  Perhaps the mob is easily convinced of this Jesus and his 'miracles' but we who are learned know much better.  We know that He cannot be the Messiah and He cannot serve God and break the rules of the Sabbath.  This man lied about being blind and made a pact with Jesus to show this false miracle and convince ignorant people to follow this Galilean."


The men in the room started nodding in agreement.  Suddenly a man stepped up near the back "Perhaps we should call his parents for witnesses." He said.  Jude stared.  That was the voice of his old pastor Nicodemus.  The man in the center who Jude was sure was the High Priest Caiaphas said "Very well, bring his parents."  With a wave the temple guards were gone.


As the temple guards left, Jude looked around the room.  These men were the Sanhedrin, the most powerful group of Jews in Judea.  Each of them had proven to be an expert in his field.  There were the rich and powerful Sadducees sitting in one corner.  The rest of the room was composed of Pharisees and Scribes.  These men had the education that Jude could have never dreamed of because of his blindness.  They were experts in the law of Moses.  With a word they could banish him from his parents and all he had ever known.  Despite seeing Nicodemus, he still felt very alone and very inferior to these men.


They returned almost an hour later with Mordechai and Elizabeth, Jude's parents.
Caiaphas wasted no time questioning them.  "Is this man your son?" he asked while pointing at Jude.
Mordechai and Elizabeth both looked apprehensively at Jude and then Mordechai said, "yes, we know that is our son."


"And was your son born blind?"
Again the answer was yes.
"Well then how can he see now?"  the high priest demanded; his voice lowering menacingly.


Mordechai said "We know that this is our son and that he was born blind. We do not know how he came to be able to see.  He is old enough to speak for himself.  Ask him."


Ciaphas waved and Jude's parents were escorted out of the chamber leaving Jude once again alone.  He then turned to Jude saying "Give God the praise.  For surely this is God's miracle. Don't say anymore that it had anything to do with this Jesus.  God would have blessed you with the miracle without Him.  We know that it must have been God and not Him because He is a sinner.  Say this and we all," he said gesturing to the body of men, "will be most grateful."


Jude thought about that for a minute.  He was being given the opportunity to do a favor for the High Priest himself.  He knew that such a favor could give him benefits and position in the city that he could never have had otherwise.  He imagined himself going from a poor beggar to a member of the Sanhedrin itself.  All he would have to do is say that it was God who healed him rather than this man Jesus.  Of course God is the one who healed him so that wouldn't even be a lie.  His run in with Jesus may have been simply a coincidence.  As he was considering Caiaphas' proposal, he remembered Jesus' voice and the touch of his hands.  He remembered the long journey to the pool of Siloam.  He could no more deny Jesus than he could deny the fact that he could see.


"Whether he be a sinner or no, I know not." The laws and commandments of these Pharisees were too confusing.  He had probably "sinned" a half dozen times on his way over here and another half dozen since.  He didn't feel qualified to debate with them about the law and whether or not Jesus had sinned. "One thing I know, that, wheras I was blind now I see."


Caiaphas just stared at him for a moment in unbelief.  Then he sneered "If it wasn't God, then what did Jesus do?"


Jude suddenly realized that these men didn't want the truth.  They wanted to disparage Jesus, the Man that had saved his life.  No matter what he said they would try to twist it to their own advantage.  He had a strange feeling inside as his fear of these men started to melt away.  
"I told you once already and you didn't listen.  Do you want to hear it again so that you also can be His disciples?"


With that the room again erupted.  A man called from the back of the room "You may be Jesus' disciple, but we are Moses' disciples." He did this seeking to contrast the unpopular Galilean prophet with the deliverer of Israel and writer of the law.


Jude began again "It's strange that you all know nothing about Him and yet He has opened my eyes.  We know that God works through righteous men and not sinners." and then Jude remembered that in all of the stories of the prophets of old there was not one who healed a blind man from birth.  Even Elisha and Elijah with all their miracles had never done this.  "Never since the world began has anyone healed a man born blind."  And then he looked Ciaphas in the eye as he felt conviction flood his body "If this man were not of God, he could do nothing."


Ciaphas' black eyes narrowed dangerously.  "You were born in sins and yet you try to teach us about sins and sinners?" he asked incredulously.  Then turning to the guards he said "Throw him out of here.  This man is no longer allowed in any synagogue in Judea.  He is anathema."


As Jude was thrown from the building he marveled again at what had happened in the council chambers.  Yesterday he had been just a blind beggar  but he knew his place in the world.  Suddenly he wasn't sure anymore.  Just as he was believing in God again, he had nowhere to go to worship.  He didn't even know how to find Jesus and be His disciple.  He was lost and he wondered why God had had given him this amazing blessing only to curse him like this.  


He collapsed against a wall dejectedly.  He closed his eyes that were again filling with tears suddenly wishing that he was the same blind man he was yesterday.  The blackness of his shut eyes comforted him.  He heard soft footsteps approaching but didn't bother to look up.  He felt a hand touch his shoulder and looked up to see a face staring into his.  He couldn't look into the eyes because of their intensity.  The man opened his mouth and the voice from yesterday, the voice he would never forget spoke his name.  Then Jesus asked "Dost thou believe on the son of God?" 


Jude was not expecting this question.  He didn't know anything about the son of God, but he had a powerful desire to know who he was.  "Who is he lord that I might believe on him?"  But as he asked, he already knew the answer.  This Jesus was more than a man.  He was more than a prophet.  As the Savior confirmed it saying "Thou hast both seen him, and it is he that talketh with thee," Jude felt an overwhelming comforting feeling.  He suddenly realized that because of Jesus he could see.  He could look on the face of the son of God.  He could see what only the prophets had been able to see.  He, a beggar from Jerusalem could look on the face of God.  His doubts and self pity washed away with his tears as he cried "Lord, I believe!"